It's been wayyy too long since I felt this way. But I am happy to report: It's baacckkk! Hurrah!


FAMILIAR

How long has it been since I opened my eyes in bed I the morning and smiled at the possibilities before me? Too long – millennia or merely years?

For the last three days, I’ve felt this little place inside me where laughter and fun used to be, filling up again – swelling like good bread dough with lots of healthy yeast percolating away – rising. Rising! All those particles of yeast nudging each other gleefully, a happy conspiracy to surprise me with a fragrant delectable extra sourdough loaf of fun.

The yeast is chortaling, “Wait’ll she sees this! Wait’ll she smells this! Her taste buds are gonna go ballistic!”

It’s like knowing all my best friends have gotten together and are planning a gigantic surprise party for me. I’m touched, and excited, and a little humbled. I’m also careful not to spoil the surprise.

But all through these days little bubbles of laughter pop out of my mouth, and here and there parts of a song.

I remember this, it’s so familiar.

When the loaf has risen and baked and been set out on the counter with candles in it, all those parts of me that have been waiting patiently to be resurrected will jump up and yell “Surprise!” And I will be properly and thankfully delighted. I’ll blow out the candles but I won’t make a speech. I’ll just say Thank You, and maybe Welcome Back.

And then I’ll sing really loud right through my big fat smile.