Life is all just a matter of perspective...

DANGEROUS

Dr. Yahov tells me it’s dangerous to follow the paths in my mind that are scorched or embattled. In fact he would like me to abandon my interior wandering and re-join what he calls the real world.

I humor his gentle nudgings; he is after all a kind man. But even with all his degrees, (and I see them behind him on the wall of his office every other day at three pm) he knows nothing about my mind.

After lunch I pass Joseph in the hall on the way back to my room. He nods and says, “Hello Mary,” to me, but I can see how his back is pressed against the wall behind him, he isn’t ready to leave us either, although he longs to.

I have been in Dr. Yahov’s real world and have no desire to return there. I much prefer this place where all my physical needs are taken care of and I have my small sparse room to retreat to when the other’s thoughts get too loud. I can close the door and even though there are no locks, it is a safe enough haven for me.

I can lie on my bed, shut my eyes, and go wandering for hours at a time. It’s true there are a few constraints in living here, but none as bad as out there.

Each evening when I watch Dr. Yahov drive away from the hospital, I pity him. I haven’t told him this, but it’s true.

It’s much safer in here.